4 Weeks Out: I'm supposed to wear what???

Yeah. I know. 

And in case you aren't sure what you're looking at it, that is the BACK of my bikini bottoms. LOL

All I can say is thank goodness I'll have adhesive to stick everything in place!

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a few weeks. It's not that I haven't had the time. 

I mean...it's true that I practically live at the gym, but I've had plenty of time on the weekends to do blog updates. The truth is, every time I sit down to write, all I want to say was how I'm so sick of this training. Who wants to read that? Whenever I read other bikini competitor blogs, it's all about how great they feel and how awesome their training is going and blah blah blah. Well, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just more of whiner. It sucked not being able to drink champagne at my sister Jenn's bachelorette party. I was so sad to not be able to go out to dinner with my love on our anniversary. And this weekend, I'm missing my nephew's birthday in Vegas because I can't afford to be away from my gym at this point. At least once a week I cry for one reason or another. I even cried in the bathroom at the gym this morning because I was having a hard time with one of my lifts. I've turned into this emotional basket case and I'm just so over it. 

Ok, that is the end of my rant. I will say that I do have my good days here and there. It's awesome to put on clothes that were too tight last year only to realize that they are way too big this year! I never wake up feeling bloated or gross or guilty about what I ate the night before. I feel like I walk with my head a little higher and that in itself is a great feeling. :)

I'm not posting the negative stuff for you to feel bad for me. I know that this is my choice and I am free to quit at anytime. I am posting the negative stuff because it's real and it's what's going on in my head. I think it's only fair to show a complete picture of this process. It's not all cute tanks, FB check-ins and yummy protein shakes. It's a constant emotional and mental battle and sometimes you just want to curl up in a ball and not leave your bed. 

So, moving on...I'm four weeks out and I can't even believe I'm getting close to the end. I feel like I've been training for this competition for a hundred years. When it's all said and done, I will have been doing this for about 6 months. Longest 6 months of my life! :)

I have pretty much nailed down all the details. Bikini has arrived, shoes have arrived, makeup and tanning scheduled, hotel booked...etc. I really just need to work on my posing. Poor A.B. having to watch me practice posing in my 4 inch heels in our dining room. For some reason, he seems to not mind. lol

Here are this week's photos. I took them VERY early this morning and realized later that maybe I should have at least smiled. Oh well, I'll smile next week. lol

One view I never post is my back...mainly because I don't know how I feel about plastering my butt on the internet. Anyway, I decided to crop my booty out for the time being. I'm sure my butt will make an appearance at some point. I'm just really proud of the progress I've made in my back! So, just to show you...here is a September picture versus this morning's picture. :) 

Thanks again to everyone who reads this and continues to encourage me. This is the hardest thing I have ever done and I soooooo appreciate the support. 

Have a great weekend, everybody!