Everything Nonsense: 15 Weeks Out

I am 15 weeks out from my first ever bikini competition.

At this point, it's all very surreal to me. I don't think it has REALLY hit me that in a few months I am going to put on a tiny bikini and clear heels and parade across a stage.

That. Sounds. TERRIFYING.

So, in the meantime, I have put it out of my head and I have just tried to focus on one day at a time.

So, how has it been going? Well, at first it wasn't bad at all. Normal meal plan, normal workouts with a little bit of extra rowing (on a row machine) after my workouts. Nothing too difficult.

The last couple weeks have been a bit tougher. We were told we could no longer have processed food (with the exception of limited protein powder post workout) and we could no longer have carbonated beverages. (I've never been a soda drinker, but when I took on this bikini challenge, I suddenly discovered Cherry Coke Zero and kinda fell in love with the poisonous substance.) So really, my days consist of ground turkey, egg whites, oatmeal, spinach, green beans...you get the idea.We have also had to do 3 x 30 min cardio sessions each week on top of our normal workouts and our rowing. It's been a bazillion degrees outside and I have been running in it. Not fun.

I had one particularly difficult day. I ran 3.5 miles in 90+ degree heat, followed by lifting, followed by our metcon which, among other things, included 1.5 miles of running, followed by my 5 min rowing. When I finished my rowing, I put my head down and started crying. I couldn't explain WHY I was crying. I just felt defeated. It was such a difficult day and all I could think was, "This is my life for the next 4 months and it's only going to get harder."

I overdid it.

That was my low point. After a much needed pep talk from one of my girls at the gym, I felt better.

Overall, this has been a good experience so far. I have my moments of sadness when I think about all of the things I have to miss out on over the next few months. But, aside from that, I feel really good. I'm starting to see slight changes in my body and I know that it's only going to get more and more noticeable over the next few weeks. I'm excited to see what my body can do!

Oh, also, I've learned a couple of things during this process.

1. Bikini Comp Prep makes you VERY creative with food. I have ground up my oats and mixed it with 1T of natural peanut butter and 1T of honey to trick myself into thinking I'm eating cookie dough for breakfast.

2. Bikini Comp Prep makes you VERY stingy with food. I looked at A.B. like he was completely crazy when he asked me for a bite of my protein pancakes. "I'm sorry, you want a bite of what? YOU can have REGULAR pancakes!!!!"

Haha...in A.B.'s defense, he has been eating clean along with me and has been my biggest supporter.

I could not do this without him!!!

It's a learning experience and I'm trying to keep myself as sane as possible. I am going to do everything I can to not become an angry, carb-obsessed fitness nut. I will remind myself every day that this is my choice and this is something I want for myself. I have a goal and an end in sight and I just have to take it one day at a time.

This post is longer than I anticipated.

Ok, let's wrap this up....

Starting this week, I'm going to start posting progress photos. Due to poor lighting and lack of equipment, I'm limited to Iphone shots in my bedroom mirror. So, let's not judge me on presentation. The point of this is to keep me accountable. If I know that at the end of each week I have to post a picture of my stomach on the internet, I'm probably going to stay pretty motivated. That's the idea anyway.

So here I am in my fancy sports bra and even fancier pajama shorts. This is a far cry from my tanned "after" photos for my gym, but whatever. This is just me...no makeup or great lighting or spray tan.

I have nowhere to go but up! :)